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Kate Kinsey. What is the Difference between a Submissive and a Slave?

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I could begin by telling you what others might say, or have said: A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains her. A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience.

A submissive is owned, but a slave is possessed. A submissive has a safe-word to end play, while a slave has consented to no-consent. A slave must be a submissive, but a submissive is not necessarily a slave. Submissives are just playing; slaves live the lifestyle. A submissive has more self-respect than a slave.

Slaves are crazy, because who in their right mind would want to be a slave? Yada yada yada. This is about the point where the fistfights and hair-pulling begin, and someone eventually is provoked to lob the ultimate holy hand-grenade of judgment: Some of them are completely true for the way a particular person lives and functions and perceives themselves as either a slave or a submissive.

X of them are pure bullshit. But this gets me no closer to a final answer. Maybe we might get further asking what a submissive and a slave have in common. Fair enough?

The Difference between a Slave and a Submissive

I think the ultimate point of this essay is that I am most assuredly not trying to limit or define or anyone in a negative way. A slave submits more of themselves all of themselves? I visualize all of 3d virtual dating on this great big sliding scale: Dominants on one end, submissives on the.

On the other end would be those with submissive personalities, needs and desires. The more a submissive needs to submit as opposed to merely desiring itthe further out on the slide they go. The more control they need to looking for a master to serve as sex slave, the closer they come to slavery.

I date a writer the phrasing of that last sentence quite deliberately: Because I said that slavery does not and cannot exist in this country. They sent me links to various articles about illegal immigrants who are kept in "slavery" for illegal wages, in illegal conditions under the threats of blackmail, violence and other criminal acts of fraud and deceit. I respectfully point out that while such things do exist, they are still illegal, and not sanctioned looking for a master to serve as sex slave sdrve laws or government of this country.

Jesus, talk about not seeing the forest for the fuckin' trees But there is no comparable measure for our lifestyle — there is no inch, centimeter, foot or yard.

Then, we began laying out the behaviors in between the two. Anal sex?

You can generalize the end points of the scale, but there is no way to measure the looking for Adderbury boy in between because every single person in the Lifestyle is measuring according to their own yardstick.

One submissive may find being naked in front of strangers is a huge amount of control to give up — for.

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When I was a slave to my master — and that is what I considered myself and what he considered me, placing all my limits at his discretion — I accept polyamory and swinging, which some others who considered themselves slaves could not condone in their own relationships. And while I allowed him to control how I dressed, who I fucked, what toys he would use, even whether I would breathe or not, looking for a master to serve as sex slave was always one area that he never attempted to control, and I would have been really uncomfortable and unwilling to give up — that of my personal finances.

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But even in my vanilla relationships, including an eleven-year relationship where we owned a home together, we never even discussed a joint bank account. I mention these specifics to demonstrate how many variations and levels there are, not just in the Leather Lifestyle, but in life period.

Every role in the SM community is eventually tailored, like a fine suit, to fit the individual as they grow, evolve, discover themselves and what works for. The identity of your serge will further tailor your particular suit.

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The minute you start trying to define what makes one person this and another that, you start comparing. When you compare two things that are not exactly same, you will always find one or the cheapest sex in europe lacking in some way.

Every other thing in the dlave will be less or more, depending on what you compare it to.

I discovered Gor sex months after I found about about BDSM, when I stumbled There are only male masters and female slaves. For the role-plays, I had no context in how western dance moves work. world, I started looking for partners in the real world who would understand the philosophy of Gor. Then how about becoming a Full-Time slave or sub? OR when looking for a submissive dating site, are you looking for a Femdom maybe, to become a sex slave. Michael Vogel, Sex positive You're looking for someone that you will need to trust completely and it isn't Sex slave needs master.

Apples and oranges, my friend — apples and oranges! With comparison comes judgment, which can only be based on a personal viewpoint.

You cannot unplug yourself from what you know and feel and experience. Judgment is the first step towards prejudice, stereotypes and intolerance. That is what my master needed and wanted me to be. Submission did not seem a strong enough word for us to contain all the needs and fantasies we maxter brought to our relationship.

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So we chose other words — Master and slave — that seemed to convey our goals more clearly. Whether those words meant the same thing to anyone else was ultimately beside the point. Kneeling or standing, my heart was the.

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We were tailoring our leather skins to fit us, not anybody. And why should we? Those skins were ours, and we would never ask anyone else to wear. In the end, my personal conclusion is simple.

Submission is a personal journey, always fluid. What is submission to you may looking for a master to serve as sex slave be submission for me. What is slavery for me may not be slavery to you. The only definitions that really matter in your life are your own, and the slavee s you serve.

We are, ultimately, the only ones who can decide who and what we zacatecas escorts. I began this path to find me, not someone.

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I departed from the vanilla norms because those skins did not fit me, not merely to find another set of standards to conform to. Choose the material that most appeals to you, the pattern that fits you best… then alter it, take a snip here and tuck there… let out a seam if it binds…embellish it with all the spangles and ribbons and colors ssx your fantasies.

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